Biblical Conflict Resolution
“As interpersonal conflicts increase, how should we best deal with them? What are some of the strategies of biblical conflict resolution?
From the time of Cain and Abel, offenses and conflicts have been incessant human problems. And the Bible warns that in the end time, many will be offended (Matthew 24:10).
Have you ever witnessed someone being offended? Have you ever been offended? Have you ever offended someone else? It is very likely that you have.
Offenses generally produce conflict. The Cambridge Dictionary defines conflict as “an active disagreement between people with opposing opinions or principles.”
And resolving conflict is no easy task! It can be uncomfortable and difficult because of the hard feelings and strong emotions that are involved.
Small offenses may require little more than extending forgiveness to the person who’s committed the offense. Our blog post “Conflict Resolution: Should I Say Something?” explains, “With the majority of small offenses, the best response is usually simply to forgive the offense, recognize we have similarly offended others and bear with the other person in love (Ephesians 4:2).”
The purpose of this article is to explore the situations when a more involved response is needed.
No doubt, you will face conflict at some point in your life. Countless books have been written on this subject, some of which have proven to be very helpful. But, more important, God Himself provides us with some conflict resolution strategies within the Bible, His inspired Word.
What is the lesson of Abigail in the Bible?
The courageous example of Abigail provides a good illustration of an individual with exceptional conflict resolution skills. Her reaction to a very difficult situation—the strategies that she used to address conflict—can help us be prepared to resolve potential conflicts in our own lives.
We find the story in 1 Samuel 2 We will continue to see increased numbers of offenses and conflicts in the world around us, and you will most likely face difficult conflicts in your own personal life. But the Bible provides a way for us to deal with them:
“Now there was a man in Maon whose business was in Carmel, and the man was very rich. He had three thousand sheep and a thousand goats. And he was shearing his sheep in Carmel. The name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. And she was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance; but the man was harsh and evil in his doings” (verses 2-3).
It is here that we’re first introduced to Abigail, along with her husband, Nabal. Verse 3 provides us with a key description of Abigail: She was a woman of “good understanding.” This good understanding was beneficial throughout Abigail’s life, both to her and to those around her.
It is not unreasonable to conclude that being married to a harsh man whose name literally meant “fool” left her vulnerable to moments of conflict.
We have no way of knowing every conflict that Abigail faced, but we are made aware of one significant situation that she faced. This tense situation involved her husband and another man who became extremely angry. Strong emotions and hard feelings often accompany moments of conflict.
David and Nabal
Nabal was a successful businessman; he possessed thousands of animals and was very rich. And while he was shearing his sheep in Carmel, along came David with a band of his men.
As background, it’s important to understand that when Nabal’s shepherds had been working in the fields, David’s men had provided security and protection for Nabal’s men and animals.
So David sent some of his men to remind Nabal of this. They were sent to entreat Nabal to share some supplies with them.
David’s message was, “Therefore let my young men find favor in your eyes, for we come on a feast day. Please give whatever comes to your hand to your servants and to your son David” (verse 8).
They were simply asking this wealthy man to be hospitable, which was the custom at the time. It was not an unreasonable request from David. They were not forcing Nabal’s hand; they were simply asking him to share whatever he was willing to give at this festive time. After all, they had provided some protection for his men and animals.
True to his name, Nabal’s reaction was churlish. He rudely responded with an insult in verses 10-11:
“Who is David, and who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants nowadays who break away each one from his master. Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat [notice his emphasis on my throughout] that I have killed for my shearers, and give it to men when I do not know where they are from?”
Nabal made it quite clear that he had no intention of sharing anything with David. Not only was he unwilling to share, but he verbally insulted David as well.
Enter conflict. Nabal’s unkind reply greatly offended David and made him angry. He gathered up his men, told them to get their swords, and vowed to kill every male within Nabal’s camp.
Nabal was upset with David for asking him to share, and David was upset with Nabal for being unwilling to share. Nabal incited David by hurling insults, and David threatened to kill all of Nabal’s men.
Abigail and David
Standing in the midst of this very tense conflict was Abigail.
In verses 14-16, Abigail received a quick briefing on what was going on. She was informed of what her husband had done, as well as how David had reacted to Nabal’s conduct. The servants affirmed that David’s men did exactly as they said they had done, describing the men as a “wall [of protection] to us both by night and day.”
“Now therefore, know and consider what you will do” (verse 17).
Abigail was faced with this difficult question. As she faced the possibility of an attack by David, what would she do?
There is certainly no one-size-fits-all solution, but Abigail’s response does provide a few important lessons about biblical conflict resolution.
1. Face the problem—don’t hide from it.
Abigail discerned the situation and acted quickly to address the problem. She didn’t ignore it, hoping that it would go away. She didn’t try to hide from the problem. Abigail faced the matter head-on.
Notice the first four words in verse 18: “Then Abigail made haste.” She quickly gathered a collection of gifts for David and rode out on a donkey to meet him.
“Now when Abigail saw David, she dismounted quickly from the donkey, fell on her face before David, and bowed down to the ground” (verse 23).
Takeaway: When we’re faced with a conflict, we must be willing to address the situation. Avoiding the issue does not help resolve it.
2. Base your response on Scripture.
Abigail did not address the situation by angrily accosting David, but expressed genuine humility instead. When it comes to conflict resolution, there is quite possibly no passage more significant than Proverbs 15:1: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” (See “Dealing With Difficult People” and “5 Tips for Dealing With Difficult People” for further reading on this topic.)
Through an attitude of humility and incorporating the biblical principle of a soft answer, Abigail’s approach helped defuse David’s anger.
“So she fell at his feet and said: ‘On me, my lord, on me let this iniquity be! And please let your maidservant speak in your ears, and hear the words of your maidservant. Please, let not my lord regard this scoundrel Nabal. For as his name is, so is he: Nabal is his name, and folly is with him! But I, your maidservant, did not see the young men of my lord whom you sent’” (1 Samuel 25:24-25).
She essentially told David, “I didn’t know that any of this had happened. Please forgive us for offending you.” She presented her gift of food, fulfilling what David had wanted in the first place. And she let David know that she knew he was fighting God’s battles (verse 28).
Once she’d softened him up, Abigail provided David with some encouragement to change his mind.
To paraphrase her reply, Abigail said, “Please forgive me. God will reward you and defeat all your enemies. I believe He has restrained you from taking revenge so you won’t have any regrets in the future.”
As you break down Abigail’s response to David, you can clearly see the resulting fruit of a soft answer turning away wrath.
Takeaway: Each situation is unique and may require a modified approach, but our response should always be based upon biblical principles.
3. Seek God’s help and know He is with you.
If we seek God’s help and strive to act as He tells us, we can know that He will be with us (Hebrews 13:5-6).
“Then David said to Abigail: ‘Blessed is the LORD God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me!’” (1 Samuel 25:32).
That’s an important statement that should not be overlooked. The Lord God of Israel sent Abigail to meet with David. God was with her. She had to do her part as well (see lessons 1 and 2), but God was with her as she faced this conflict. Through Abigail, He helped address and resolve a situation that affected many people.
Takeaway: As we face moments of conflict in our lives, we must recognize that God can be right there with us. (See “God Is There for You” for further reading on this subject.)
Prepare to apply these conflict resolution strategies
We will continue to see increased numbers of offenses and conflicts in the world around us, and you will most likely face difficult conflicts in your own personal life. But the Bible provides a way for us to deal with them.
As you face those tense moments of conflict, let Abigail’s example be a source of encouragement. Resolving conflict is no easy task, but it is attainable.
Learn more in our three-part blog series on conflict resolution, beginning with “Conflict Resolution: Should I Say Something?” From: https://lifehopeandtruth.com/relationships/friendship/biblical-conflict-resolution/?
Also see: https://lifehopeandtruth.com/relationships/friendship/dealing-with-difficult-people/
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What Is God’s Dietary Plan?
“Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” ~1 Corinthians 10:31
Can we glorify God by disobeying His word? Absolutely not. There is but one way to bring glory to God, and that is through obedience to His infallible word! We must decide this one thing, are we going to obey God or man?
“But Peter and the other apostles answered and said: We ought to obey God rather than men.” ~Acts 5:29
So, what exactly is a Godly diet? Let’s break this down into some very simple steps, a Godly diet plan for us in the here and now consists first and foremost of eating only clean foods! This not only refers to God’s do and do not eat list of clean and unclean animals, it also refers to eating foods that are unblemished by man.
Let’s talk just a bit about GMO’s, genetically modified (mutated) organisms. I know this is a tough concept to get our brains wrapped around, so I’m going to be extremely generalized in my explanation of this horrendous condition.
Misguided human beings have messed with God’s perfect foods, and corrupted both plants and animals for monetary gain as well as for power to control their propagation. They have messed with the very core of these creations, better known as the DNA! Click here for a crash course on Genetics and DNA.
God had a perfect plan, a plan that can not be improved on. By messing with and genetically corrupting these organisms, man has recreated God’s creation into what I call “Frankenstein-foods.” So, without going into anymore boring genetic science, suffice to say, we absolutely should not be consuming any of these genetically mutated Frankenstein-foods. And that leaves us with what is better known as organic foods.
“For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.” ~Romans 8:20-21
Now for a brief understanding of organic foods versus chemically treated foods. Organic means natural, in other words, foods that are grown as God intended, not genetically modified or sprayed with harmful chemical pesticides (bug-sprays), dangerous herbicides (weed-killers), or chemical fertilizers. We should only eat organically grown foods that have been treated naturally, fertilized with herbivore manure or composted seaweed and vegetation mulch.
Lastly, we need to look at the condition of the foods that we’re consuming. Natural, unprocessed is what God intended for us. Not bleached, over processed, artificially colored, artificially sweetened, artificially preserved, or foods full of any additives, no matter what the purpose might be. A good rule to follow is to read all labels, and if they contain anything you can’t pronounce, don’t eat it!
We were created to eat whole natural organic, non-GMO foods like; fruits and vegetables, nuts and seeds, clean wild-caught fish, and minimal free-range/chicken, grass-fed clean meats and dairy (without steroid, growth hormone or antibiotic injections).
No refined sugar, and absolutely no artificial sweeteners. Only natural, raw honey or plant nectars like agave nectar, real maple syrup, and molasses. No processed and refined chemically preserved anything. If it doesn’t come in, what I refer to as a God wrapper (peeling or skin covering), don’t eat it!
I was recently at a friend’s house one morning, and he asked me if I’d like to join him in a bowl of instant maple flavored oatmeal. He knew my stance on organics, as well as how I felt about GMOs. He protested that it was organic and that oatmeal is very good for you!
I politely declined and tried to explain the difference to him. Yes, organic is good, and yes, oatmeal is good for you as well, however, instant anything is processed and altered to microwave super fast, as well as “maple flavoring” which is just that, artificial flavoring, a man-made chemical substitute for real maple syrup, and is totally unnatural and downright harmful.
I am no longer willing to compromise my beliefs to please others. I will not jeopardize my health, nor will I go against God’s rules for optimal health. I’m to the point in my life that I don’t care what people think. I no longer care that many of my friends and relatives feel I’ve gone overboard with my dietary restrictions.
“Listen to Me, you who know righteousness, you people in whose heart is My law: do not fear the reproach of men, nor be afraid of their insults.” ~Isaiah 51:7
I fully understand that God wants us to be healthy, and that’s the whole reason He made all these dietary rules in the first place. This is overwhelmingly apparent by a number of Biblical facts. First off, God is extremely specific about exactly what we should and should not eat. Secondly, Jesus spent the majority of His adult life healing the sick and lame. As well as the fact that God created us. Who could possibly know better what these organic bodies should consume for fuel?
With that said we must now ask, how can we get as close as possible to what God wants for us? In a nutshell, here it is.
What should we eat...?
- Eat only biblically “clean foods”
- Eat uncontaminated meats; not treated w/steroids, hormones or antibiotics
- Eat non-GMOs; foods that have not been genetically altered by man
- Eat organic foods that have not been chemically treated
- Eat quantities that reflect Biblical moderation and self-control
- Eat more raw and live foods like fresh fruits and veggies, nuts and seeds, and less animal, as well as less cooked, refined/over-processed anything
One of the biggest problems with the average American diet isn’t just how much we eat; it’s the percentage of our diet made up of cooked and over-processed foods. Eat more raw, natural foods like fresh fruits and vegetables (remember about the God wrapper) i/e the fresher, the better and the more color, the healthier. Follow God’s rules rather than man’s. The more natural the foods you eat, the healthier you will be!
Anything that isn’t labeled organic has more than likely been treated with dangerous chemical insecticides, herbicides, and fertilizers. As well as animals that are injected with steroids, growth hormones and antibiotics. Anything that isn’t labeled non-GMO has probably been genetically mutated to replicate something it isn’t. Have you ever heard the saying, only God can make a tree? Let that sink in! Man can try to improve on God’s perfection all he wants, but I assure you he will ultimately fail.
The following was a newsflash on the internet that a friend sent me. She commented on how happy she was about this discovery. “Science Confirms Eating Chocolate Cake For Breakfast Is Good For Your Brain And Waistline” Sadly, I informed her that she was more than old enough to understand that you can’t believe everything you read.
God has given us the ability to discern. This simply means, if it quacks and waddles, it’s a duck! I don’t care what anyone might tell you it is. Use your God-given common sense, if it sounds too good to be true, that’s because it isn’t true.
The thing is, people choose to believe what they want to believe. Yes, it would be great if chocolate cake for breakfast, ice cream for lunch and Krispy Kreme donuts for dinner were good for you, but really, it doesn’t take a nutritional expert to understand that they aren’t.
What shouldn't we eat...?
Besides all of the “unclean foods“ that God tells us to avoid, we also need to use our God-given ability to discern regarding things that are not mentioned in the Bible. For example, GMO’s of any kind, chemically treated foods, over-processed foods, refined foods, artificial preservatives, and toxic chemical additives like aspartame, just to name a few. God created perfect, clean foods—man modified and mutated it into toxic, unclean trash, and sells it as a convenience!
Additionally, any type of soft drink is extremely unhealthy due to the excessive amount of refined sugar, but diet soda is by far the worst possible choice.
Here are the ingredients in diet coke:
Carbonated water, caramel coloring, artificial sweetener (Aspartame, or Sucralose for the Splenda version), phosphoric acid, potassium benzoate (to protect taste), sodium (40mg), natural flavors, citric acid, caffeine. GMO: This product includes ingredients sourced from genetically engineered (GE) crops, commonly known as GMOs.
All artificial sweeteners are bad for you—Aspartame being one of the most unhealthy and down-right dangerous choices possible—its absolute poison in every sense of the word. The harmful effects of ingesting this stuff are endless. It can cause seizures, headaches, depression, ADHD, weight gain, dizziness, birth defects, cancer, lupus, Alzheimer’s, MS, and internal bleeds, just to name a few!
Opt to eat the good of the land—the foods that God has created to nourish our bodies—rather than man-made trash and fake foods!
“If you are willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land.” ~Isaiah 1:19
Q: Are you ready to accept God’s diet?” From: https://thetruthmission.org/what-is-gods-dietary-plan/
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Hospitals Selling Sickness
Transcript of video at: https://nutritionfacts.org/video/hospitals-selling-sickness/
“The movement to remove fast food operations from hospitals parallels the successful movement in the 80s to bar hospital tobacco sales.
The food industry spends billions of advertising. Promotion costs for individual candy bars could run in the tens of millions, and this was years ago. McDonald’s alone spends a billion dollars on advertising every year. Such figures dwarf the National Cancer Institute’s million dollar annual investment promoting fruit and vegetable consumption or the 1.5 spent on cholesterol education. And that McBillion goes a long way.
Children’s food preferences are being molded by McDonald’s even before they learn to tie their shoelaces. By the early age of 3 to 5 years, preschoolers preferred the taste of foods and drinks if they thought they were from McDonald’s. This was true even for carrots. Baby carrots placed on a bag with McDonald’s logo reportedly tasted better.
And then if they get sick, they can continue to eat McDonald’s in the hospital. Nearly 1 in 3 children’s hospitals had a fast food restaurant inside, leading parents to have more positive perceptions of the healthiness of McDonald’s food. Or they can just buy the naming rights altogether: The Ronald McDonald Children’s Hospital.
In teaching hospitals, Krispy Kreme tops the list. Hospitals may wish to revisit the idea of serving high-calorie fast food in the very place where they also care for the most seriously ill.
This is reminiscent of the fight back in the 80s to get tobacco out of hospitals, when public health advocates made radical suggestions like cigarettes should not be sold in the hospital. By working to make our hospitals ultimately smoke-free, we become part of a global campaign to completely eliminate the tobacco scourge. The task is difficult, but so was eradicating smallpox.
Maybe it’s time to stop selling sickness in hospitals.”
To see any graphs, charts, graphics, images, and quotes to which Dr. Greger may be referring, watch the above video. This is just an approximation of the audio contributed by Katie Schloer.
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“For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever” is a phrase found at the conclusion of Jesus’ model prayer. What does it mean for us today?
“Life today can be sorely lacking in hope. But there is a timeless source we can turn to. The hope in the Bible is guaranteed not to disappoint!
