Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Dog Dictionary and Other Doggie Things

I thought this was cute and seeing as most of you either have a dog or know one, you might get a chuckle or two out of this, as I did.

Dog Dictionary
LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your
person where you want him/her to go.

DOG BED: Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest
room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.

DROOL: A liquid which, when combined with sad eyes, forces humans to give
you their food. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and get the drool on the human.

SNIFF: A social custom used to greet other dogs, similar to the human exchange of business cards.

GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test
your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.

BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body
fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards. The person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.

DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants them
in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down.

THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels.

WASTE-BASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy
wrappers. It is important to evenly distribute its contents throughout the
house before your person comes home.

BATH : If you find something especially good to roll in, humans get jealous, and they use this degrading form of torture to get even. Be sure to shake only when next to a person or a piece of furniture.

LEAN: Every good dog's response to the command "sit!," especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.

BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.

GOOSE BUMP: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the regular bump doesn't get the attention you require ... especially effective when combined with the sniff. See above.

CHILDREN: Short humans of optimal petting height. Standing close to one
assures some good petting. When running, they are good to chase. If they fall down, they are comfortable to sit on.

LOVE: A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction.  The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky, a human will love you in return.


“An enthusiastic greeting from your dog can be flattering. But too much enthusiasm can frighten some people or mess up a nice outfit just as you're heading out. Owners and visitors alike hate it when your dog unexpectedly jumps up on you, knocking you down, getting you dirty or spilling your packages. Here's how to stop that unwanted jumping. “

Also other tips for training your dog, like:

From: http://vickdogsblog.blogspot.com/  The "Vicktory Dogs" are getting new homes, here is Frodo's account of it:
"Back when I first was taken from dat "mean guys" yard and kept in a cell for like, forever! I was so scared being all alone. I couldn't see my sister or my cousins but heard dem barking. Den one day a pack of humans came and were staring at me. I wanted to bark, "Why are you guys starring at me? Don't you know dats rude?!" Den dey tried to make me do tings I didn't want to do! Den dis human dey called Tim, brought me outside and talked softly, while holding me in his arms. I wanted to lick him and tank him, for his kindness but was too scared to do so. When he left dat day, I tought "Oh no where's my dude going?! " Guess what?! My dude didn't forget about me! Turns out, he sent people from his pack to spring a bunch of us from dat scary holding place. Well, a lot has happened since dat first day I met dat human with the kind eyes. I now have a forever home, I'm learning dat its OK to explore scary tings and have met other nice humans too. But, its "My Dude" who will always hold, dat special place, in my wittle bully heart. ~Love Frodo~"

Here is a video about another one, who is getting ready to go to a forever home:

More information about his treatment of the dogs was issued today: http://www.philly.com/philly/blogs/pets/More_graphic_details_emerge_about_Vicks_dog_fighting_ring.html


Can My Dog Stay at Your Hotel?
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a Midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation.
He wrote:"I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

Top 10 reasons to spay and neuter: http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/spayneuter/spay-neuter-top-ten.html

Top 10 ways of Cutting Pet Care Costs:  http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/pet-care-tips/cutting-costs.html

It turned into a sunny, 60 deg. day, so the cats could go out on the porch today


Gypsy said...

"Can my dog stay at your hotel" is priceless!

KarenInTheWoods and Steveio said...

Oh those definitions are too cute... but like Gypsy said, that hotel one is PRICELESS!!!