Sunday, June 25, 2017

5 Keys for Handling Stress. Coping With Anxiety. Update.

For “Scripture Sunday”:

5 Keys for Handling Stress

“How can we cope with the increasing stresses of our modern world? God’s Word provides answers.

5 Keys for Handling Stress

Everyone experiences it. No person of sound mind gets through life without facing it. Like it or not, stress is part of everyone’s life. As comedy writer Jane Wagner quipped, “Reality is the leading cause of stress for those in touch with it.”

Whether we’re young people trying to learn about life and find a way to be successful or adults trying to survive and navigate our complex world, we all have our lists of concerns and things to worry about.

And if we don’t have enough on our own lists, we live in a world filled with life-threatening chaos. Will or won’t North Korea attempt to use a nuclear weapon? Will the civil war in Syria ever come to an end? Will the U.S. and Russia ever see eye to eye? How long before the unrelenting tension in the Middle East ignites another full-scale war? Will we be innocent victims of crime?

The website of the American Institute of Stress (AIS) says, “There are numerous emotional and physical disorders that have been linked to stress including depression, anxiety, heart attacks, stroke, hypertension, immune system disturbances that increase susceptibility to infections, a host of viral linked disorders ranging from the common cold and herpes to AIDS and certain cancers, as well as autoimmune diseases like rheumatoid arthritis and multiple sclerosis.

“In addition stress can have direct effects on the skin (rashes, hives, atopic dermatitis), the gastrointestinal system (GERD, peptic ulcer, irritable bowel syndrome, ulcerative colitis) and can contribute to insomnia and degenerative neurological disorders like Parkinson’s disease. In fact, it’s hard to think of any disease in which stress cannot play an aggravating role or any part of the body that is not affected. … This list will undoubtedly grow as the extensive ramifications of stress are increasingly being appreciated” (“Stress Effects”).

Research confirms that stress affects us both physically and mentally.

Stress prophesied to increase

Some 2,000 years ago the Bible predicted that stress would increase as humanity entered the end times—the time that begins just before the return of Jesus Christ to establish the Kingdom of God here on earth. Writing to Timothy, his beloved protégé in the ministry, Paul said, “But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come” (2 Timothy 3:1, emphasis added throughout).

This phrase, “perilous times,” is translated variously as “terrible times,” “grievous times,” “times of trouble” and “difficult times.” Reflecting the effects this time will have upon people, the marginal note in the New King James Version describes it as “times of stress.”

What Paul was explaining to Timothy was a concept that had previously been addressed by Daniel, Jeremiah and Jesus. Centuries before Paul, God had revealed through Daniel that there would come a time of trouble, such as never was since there was a nation” (Daniel 12:1). Subsequent verses in this passage show that this would be the state of affairs preceding the resurrections, which occur at and after Christ’s return (compare verses 2-3 with 1 Thessalonians 4:16 and Revelation 20:4-5).

The prophet Jeremiah wrote of a “time of Jacob’s trouble when the descendants of Abraham would face difficulties so severe that men would have pale faces and act like women in labor (Jeremiah 30:7). Though this prophecy is directed toward the descendants of the ancient Israelites, this time of difficulty will not be limited to these peoples.

As Christ explained, before He returns, the entire world will experience great tribulation and be threatened with total extinction (Matthew 24:21-22). The escalating effects of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, representing false prophets, war, famine and disease (compare Matthew 24:5-8 and Revelation 6:2-8), along with this “great tribulation” will bring unprecedented times of stress.

Five keys for dealing with stress

While humans have always faced stress (see “Stressful Experiences for God’s People), stress in the end time is clearly going to increase. So how are we to navigate these difficult times ahead? Thankfully, the Bible gives us five strategies for dealing with stress in our lives today as well as for when even more difficult times come.” 

Continued at: https://lifehopeandtruth.com/relationships/health/5-keys-for-handling-stress/

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Coping With Anxiety.

“The anxiety and worry we may feel in this stressed society seem to only make our other problems worse. Is there anything positive we can do?

Coping with anxiety.

There are plenty of things to worry about these days: Where can I find a job? How am I going to be able to pay my bills? Will we lose our home? Will I ever be able to retire? In what kind of world will my children grow up?

Generation stressed

How is your life going? Are you trying to cope with more stress and anxiety than ever? Do you feel overwhelmed, like you are unable to even catch your breath? Perhaps you feel that you’re trying to fight off discouragement.

Of course, we hope your life is going well; but considering the global economic fallout that began in 2008, more people than ever are suffering from high stress levels—and it seems to be coming from even more directions.

Thousands of people are faced with very serious illnesses, in some cases terminal. The number of older couples who now have grown-up children moving back home because of a job loss or broken marriage is on the rise. Still others are coping with the health issues and needed care of aging parents.

According to an article in Forbes magazine in March of 2012, 60 percent of current college graduates are unable to find work in their chosen field. In fact, after spending the time and money for a college education, many recent graduates have had to settle for jobs that don’t even require a college degree. Many studies show this trend is not likely to turn around quickly, adding even more pressure and anxiety to what so many are already laboring under.

Positive vs. negative stress

A certain amount of stress is normal, healthy, even stimulating. It can make us work harder, think more deeply and be more creative and alert to new possibilities and solutions. When confronted by a demanding situation, we may feel excited and energized to meet the challenge and persevere. Studies show that facing positive stress and working our way through it leads to a greater degree of satisfaction with life and an enhanced sense of well-being.

But too much stress—where problems are coming at us faster and with more intensity than we can handle them or where they are bigger than any solutions we have for them—is not healthy. At that point, stress can turn into anxiety, discouragement, despair or even hopelessness.

King Solomon understood the impact of too much stress when he wrote, “Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad” (Proverbs 12:25). Also, “A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken” (Proverbs 15:13).

Under normal circumstances, most of us are able to cope with the trials and struggles of life. It is a part of everyone’s life and just something we must all work our way through. The first part of Proverbs 18:14 says, “The spirit of a man will sustain him in sickness,” and that is so. A normal level of optimism and clear thinking will helps us navigate regular troubles.

But that changes when the problems are huge and seeming to come in droves. Trials that linger for long periods of time also tax our emotional reserves until we feel that we have nothing left. The last part of Proverbs 18:14 says, “…but who can bear a broken spirit?” The broken spirit—out of options, out of time and out of the emotional energy to continue the fight—is what leads us to spiral down into discouragement.

Paralyzed by discouragement

When problems get really severe and our emotional reserves are depleted, we may lose all desire to do anything to improve our situation. We become mentally, emotionally and spiritually paralyzed.

Solomon also wrote, “A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones” (Proverbs 17:22, emphasis added throughout). The broken spirit feels there is no help available, has no energy and no ideas for how to improve. And, as a result, someone facing this level of anxiety and depression may end up just doing nothing to improve or cope with things.”

Jesus Christ knew the severe anxiety, pressure and stress His disciples were going to face. He told them they would have persecution in the world, and that mankind in general would not listen to or readily accept the message they were to teach. But, in order to prevent them from becoming paralyzed by fear and discouragement, He told them, “These things I have spoken to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” (John 16:33).

Take no anxious thought

Jesus Christ told His disciples not to allow worry and anxiety to take over their lives and thoughts.”

Continued at: https://lifehopeandtruth.com/relationships/health/coping-with-anxiety/

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Update:

Well, I haven’t heard from the man who made the offer on my house except for an online agreement, which I signed with my mouse, now that’s a first!  They are supposed to do an inspection, and that might give them an excuse to back out, but anyway, I have to be ready to close on the 7th. August 2017, in case it goes through.

So we haven’t put the new canvas canopy on the RV carport, as that can be done later as we will have to move that carport anyway. Roy was off for Father’s Day, and on Monday, it was back to work on the mini-house.  We gave up on fixing the chrome ceiling fan/light by taking the whole thing down and installing the white one out of the big house living room.  Then we installed another one that I don’t like very much in the big house living room. 

Tuesday, we had to do something to the yard.  The ratty old mower started at first pull again, and so Roy quickly ran it around.  The electric hedge clippers started at first pull of the finger, too, so the hedge looks better now.  Then we stapled up the welded wire fencing on the cross boards of the patched repaired fence, so critters can’t get in or out.  There was a space and I said to Roy that a Chihuahua could get out. He said “You don’t have a chihuahua”, so I said “ I didn’t when I rescued Marla or Paco or Peanut, but you never know when I might have one”.   Such is the life of an SPCA Foster Mom!  

I am happy to say that my shy little foster cat that belonged to the late Roni, “Puddin”, is now out of our SPCA cat habitat at Petco.  She is just too shy and stayed in the little cave area, so no one adopted her because they couldn’t see her.   She is so happy to be back home, and I am happy to have her back here.  As you can see, lots of ‘happiness’ here.  

Back in the mini-house, we have been concentrating on getting the walls ready for paint. For two mornings Hans came with his belt sander and got the top trim ready for installation.  So on Friday Roy nailed it up as it will be painted the same color as the walls, a very pale yellow like the rest of the place.  Then today, Sunday, Roy did some more floating and I was going ahead of him giving any protuding staple or nailheads an extra whollop.  Then I was measuring in the kitchen to see where to build in the microwave and toaster oven.  Then I measured the walls for furniture placement.  I still don’t know how much of my furniture will go in the mini-house.

On the Sabbath, I went back to my morning church on FM 1097.  The Bible readings were Num. 4:21-7:89, Judges 13:2-25, John 7:53-8:12.   One of the ladies, Travel, (yes, that is her name) has been in Georgia for a while and she and her brother, a pastor, are visitng, so he gave the Message.  Three quarter way through the service, at the time for the Message, I needed to help the pastor’s wife in the kitchen, and even though the Message was piped in there, he was very difficult to understand as he had a thick accent, so I missed most of it.

I had made Chicken, Brown Rice and Veggies, and Roasted Yellow Squash for the potluck.  But the Pièce de Résistance was the home made challah bread that Travel brought, and very tasty and tender was the brisket that the pastor and his wife brought.  

We all had a great time talking and chatting away in the dining hall with Travel and her brother Willie.  We haven’t seen them for a while so it was a great, but rainy day.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Being a Better Dad. If I Were a Rich Dad. Children Need Time With Their Dads. Update

For Scripture Sunday: which is also “Father’s Day”:

Being a Better Dad

“With Father's Day upon us, here are some tips for us dads.

1. Don't be harsh or ridicule your child.

"And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath..." (Ephesians 6:4). The New International Version translates it, "Do not exasperate your children."

This can also discourage children (Colossians 3:21).

2. Use everyday experiences to teach your children God's way.

"You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up" (Deuteronomy 6:7).

3. Did we mention, teach them about God and His way?

"…but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4). The Amplified Bible says, "but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord."

For more on this subject, read the online article Does Father Know Best?

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If I Were a Rich Dad

If-I-Were-a-Rich-Dad“The book Rich Dad, Poor Dad taps into our desire to understand what the rich know. But I look to a different book to understand fatherhood—and true riches!

Many years ago on a long road trip taking our kids to summer camp, a friend played an audio book called Rich Dad, Poor Dad. The subtitle of the book is “What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not!”

The author’s basic theme is that his real dad, a highly educated public servant, constantly complained about being broke, while his best friend’s father constantly enjoyed the finer things in life. The book claims to be a collection of financial lessons he learned from both men. From the parts I heard, it was clear that he had more respect for his “rich dad’s” street sense and his financial goals and choices.

I admit that I didn’t hear the whole book and I remember even less, so I’m not trying to comment on any financial principles the book might espouse. But what stuck with me was the low esteem the author seemed to have for his real dad’s accomplishments in life.

My poor dad

My own father has never been rich, but I have felt richly blessed to have him as my father. My dad was actually doing fairly well financially working for a huge aerospace firm, but when he learned about the biblical Sabbath, he faced a choice between keeping his job or obeying the things he was learning in a best-selling book: the Holy Bible. He chose faith over financial security.

In his new profession as a self-employed house painter, my dad worked hard. He was fair—and more than fair—to his clients. He never wanted to charge more than he thought was reasonable, and he ended up absorbing some losses because he was too nice.

Doing these things did not lead my dad to financial success, but they are admirable qualities of a true and giving Christian. I saw the biblical principles of turning the other cheek and esteeming others better than himself in action (Matthew 5:39; Philippians 2:3).

My rich Dad

As much as I respect and appreciate my poor dad, I also appreciate that he helped introduce me to my rich Dad and His wonderful instruction book. By bringing me up “in the training and admonition of the Lord,” my dad helped me to identify the true riches (Ephesians 6:4).

What are those true riches? The Bible records this breathtaking promise to those God is calling:

“Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God!” (1 John 3:1).

God—the Creator of the entire universe, the owner of all the gold and silver, the most powerful being imaginable—loves us and wants us to be His sons and daughters!

That’s a message that I want to share with my family and friends and everyone!

If I were a rich dad …

I am not considered rich in this society, but I have been blessed in many ways, including living in the United States and having a rewarding job that takes care of my needs. In talking with people from developing countries, I am reminded of how blessed I truly am!

However, I don’t have a large inheritance to pass on to my children in this world. Like Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof, I could wish I were a rich man—at least for the sake of my family.

But most of all, I hope that I have shared with my children what has been entrusted to me—the true riches of a spiritual relationship with God our Father. In the eternal scheme of things, that relationship is far more valuable than all the silver and gold in the universe.

I hope you will want to learn more about my rich Dad and His offer to humans to become His children. There is no priority more important! Please take time now to read more of what the Bible reveals about this wonderful truth in the article “Children of God.”

Happy Father’s Day to my poor dad and my rich Dad!”

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Children Need Time With Their Dads

“Ansel Adams, the famous photographer of the Yosemite valley, was a restless child who had difficulty adapting to traditional schools. His father decided to teach him at home where he spent time helping him discover and cultivate his talents. Ansel later said this about his father: "I am certain he established the positive direction of my life that otherwise, given my native hyperactivity, could have been confused and catastrophic. I trace who I am and the direction of my development to those years of growing up propelled especially by an internal spark tenderly kept alive by my father" (Source: www.pbs.org).

Children Need Time With Their DadAnsel Adams' story is an illustration of the vital truth that fathers can have a significant influence on their children's lives. When a father determines to make his children a top priority it conveys to them that they are deeply valued, needed and appreciated.

Children need time with their dads. This includes time to play, time to talk and to time to listen. When my son was about four or five years old and wanted to tell me something, I would often squat down and get at his level and look him in the eyes. Sometimes he would sit on my lap and put his arm around my neck as we talked. The feeling of closeness I had with my son during those times was priceless.

When a dad sets aside time in one-on-one opportunities with his children, it helps him become more familiar with their needs, fears, feelings and desires. When I was young my dad would often have me work with him on various projects around the house or at my grandparents' house. We would talk to each other as we worked but even when we were not conversing, just being alone with my dad was special and rewarding to me.

When a father spends time with his child he can also become better acquainted with his or her individual talents and abilities. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." This scripture doesn't just mean disciplining children or giving them rules. It also means recognizing and directing a child's talents so he can best develop and utilize them throughout life, including earning a living.

Children also benefit by a father's masculine influence. By spending time with his dad, a son can discover more about being a man, and a daughter can learn how to understand and effectively relate to men. In a study of 200 fathers over four decades, psychologists John Snarey, Joseph Pleck and Anthony Maier found that a father's positive impact on his children can be substantial (Dad's Involvement With Kids Pays Off Now and in Future," June 15, 1989, by Marjory Roberts, Health & Fitness News Service; articles.sun-sentinel.com). The study found that a father's focused attention consistently produced confident, secure, capable children. Daughters for example, excelled at school when their fathers helped them learn physical skills. Sons, whose dads played games with them and took an interest in their friends, greatly benefited from such "warm, altruistic fathers," the researchers wrote.

Spiritual growth and maturity is also a vital fruit produced when a dad devotes time to his children. As he instructs them in spiritual, moral and ethical principles, they develop respect and honor, not only for God and His laws, but also for the laws of man. 2 Peter 3:18 explains that Christians should "grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and savior Jesus Christ." A child can develop in this manner just as can adults.

So fathers can have an enormously constructive influence on their offspring. By spending time with their children, dads can better understand their needs, apprehensions and aspirations. When a father nurtures and cultivates his children's talents and abilities, they can benefit physically, emotionally, intellectually, morally and spiritually. The incomparable fact is that children need time with their dads.

To learn more about the great importance of fathers and how they can adeptly help their children achieve true success in life, we invite you to read the following articles:

Playing the "Dad Card"

If Children Could Choose Their Parents

Where Have All the Fathers Gone?

Thanks for reading, and best regards.”  John LaBissoniere, Circulation Manager, The Good News.

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Update.

Not having been raised by my father, I have no idea what it is like to have one.  He was off overseas in the Air Force for years and years, and when he got out, I only lived with him and one of my stepmothers, for a short time.  Then he was always working, so I never saw him.  My mother had left when I was four years old, so I just lived here and there until I was 15, then I went out to work to support myself.  I was buying and selling bicycles and baby carriages to make my rent and food until I got a job handing out parts and keeping inventory in a factory.  As soon as I had a motor scooter I went on to working in banks.  Had to be 18 to get a car driver’s license in England back then.

A few more jobs are done even though we only worked five mornings this week.   We still haven’t installed the ceiling fan and light that are giving us so much trouble as we had to make a part for it.  We just had more important things to do.  The trim ring that the bell shaped housing screws onto was missing, so we cut one out of wood.  The bell housing will cover it, and the fan hangs on that globe thing anyway.   It is a very heavy fan and light, so we are not looking forward to wrestling that big thing in place!

Wednesday was a neighbor’s 83rd birthday and there was a potluck party for him at the YMCA where he exercises.  He took me there and I, with about 50 other seniors, did an hour of exercises before the potluck and then played Bingo.  I won a YMCA T-shirt.  I am not used to exercising, but I am walking around here, lifting things, going up and down ladders, so I suppose that qualifies as exercise.

The following day, the canvas canopy on the motor home carport cover had worn out in the middle, and so I had to order another one.  But before it could be installed, Roy primed and painted the metal frame so that it would all look new.  While he was painting and priming, he had started the ratty old mower for me.  It started at the first pull, and I mowed the front yard.  Then I knew that my arms were sore from the exercises the day before!

We spent a couple of mornings repairing the fence.  My place backs onto a main road, and I like the white wooden fence to be neat.  A lady had run into it several years ago and the repair that Jay did wasn’t very thorough.  Roy took down all that section of fence, and then we had to cut away a big old weed root which had grown up over the years as it was pushing out the bottom fence board.  He replaced the boards and then primed and painted them, too.  The welded wire that staples onto the fence to keep animals in or out still has to be re-installed.

On Friday, a man (a wholesaler) came and made me an offer on my house.  I discussed it with my daughter, and I think I will take it.  It has to be sold sometime as my daughter does not want to have to deal with it on top of all she has to do with her houses.   I am tired of paying out all this money on insurance, taxes, utilities etc., and it will be cheaper for me to live in the mini-house.  It will have to be made habitable first, though.  We had to remove the diverter on the Moen tub faucet as it wouldn’t stop dripping, and a new diverter is $80.  I might just put in a cheap faucet for now.  If I take the offer, it will be a mad scramble to get all this stuff out of here.

On Saturday, the Sabbath, I left early to go to the other church on FM 830 because they have a Bible Study first.  I arrived even earlier than anticipated and watched the band practice their songs.  Not just a guitar like the other church, this one had three guitars, two keyboards, a set of drums, and two lady singers.  They were very good.  The words are on a great big screen for everyone to follow along.  The Bible study was from Jeremiah.  The Teaching was “A Dad above All Other Dads” .  Some very interesting thoughts about child rearing according to the Bible.  I took hurried notes, and maybe one day I will decipher what I wrote, and be able to print it out.  The potluck afterwards was great and we all had a great time in the dining hall.

Today, my granddaughter, Michelle and her new fiance took me out for Father’s Day.  Michelle’s late mother, Becky, used to do that, too, as she said I had to be a mother and father to my children.

So to whom it may concern……….Happy Father’s Day.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Modesty in Your Daughter. Modesty Is for Boys Too. Update.

For “Scripture Sun day”, but late again.  Time just goes so fast the older you get!

Modesty in Your Daughter.

“Teach your daughter that modesty is not just a matter of clothing, but also an attitude. The kinds of clothes we choose to wear can be a reflection of who we are on the inside.

4 Ways to Instill Modesty in Your Daughter

With warm weather comes the temptation for girls to dress immodestly. How can parents teach and guide their children to make modest clothing choices?

4 Ways to Instill Modesty in Your DaughterSummer is here, and with the hotter temperatures comes an inevitable decrease in modesty. Go to a public pool or beach, and you will likely see many girls wearing skimpy two-piece bikinis. Outside of the beach, you will see ultrashort shorts, tube or halter tops, and miniskirts.

Of course, modesty is not just an issue during summertime. Many girls wear clothing year-round that’s tight and shows a lot of skin. Often girls’ clothing is emblazoned with catchy little words and phrases like “Hottie,” “Sexy,” “If you’ve got it, flaunt it,” and “I know what guys want” (sometimes emblazoned on the seats of their pants).

Most parents do not want their daughters to dress this way. But it can be a challenge to find appropriate apparel in stores. Several “mom-friends” have told me how they have to weed through endless piles and racks of skimpy tops, dresses and swimsuits and go to countless shopping centers, before finding clothing for their daughters that’s even close to being wholesome.

Then there’s the issue of peer pressure. Even if you can find modest clothing styles for your daughter, she might not want to wear them. One friend relates: “Whatever kind of clothes my daughter’s friends wear, she wants to dress the same way. It may start out with just a couple girls from school wearing a racy little type of outfit, but before long, all the girls want the same style of clothes.”

So what’s a parent to do? The Bible says girls and women should “adorn themselves in modest apparel” (1 Timothy 2:9). The word modest here could also be translated “proper,” “respectable” or “decent.” This is not to say females need to pattern their fashion after Queen Victoria. But clothing worn out in public should not be sexually enticing or draw undue attention.

That’s why it’s so important for parents to teach their children and set boundaries (Deuteronomy 6:7). That’s not always easy to do, especially if your daughter begs, pleads and even insists on wearing clothing you believe is immodest.

Teach your daughter that modesty is not just a matter of clothing, but also an attitude. The kinds of clothes we choose to wear can be a reflection of who we are on the inside.If you find yourself in this situation, consider these four tips:

1. Talk about the importance of modesty.

Provide your daughter an explanation of why you are not allowing her to wear certain types of clothing. Kids want explanations and a framework for why you make the decisions you make. If you don’t teach your daughter why some styles are provocative and explain the problem with dressing this way, she likely won’t internalize the value of modesty.

Explain how wearing revealing clothing can attract the wrong kind of attention—and even dangerous individuals. Teach your daughter that modesty is not just a matter of clothing, but also an attitude. The kinds of clothes we choose to wear can be a reflection of who we are on the inside (Luke 6:45; 1 Peter 3:3-4).

2. Set the right example.

Model the right kinds of dress for your children. Let them see by your example that it’s possible to dress modestly and still be stylish. If you’re going out for a night on the town with your husband, go for the classy, elegant look rather than the suggestive or risqué look. Your kids notice what types of clothing choices you make. Modesty is something that needs to be taught in the home starting with example. Parents must teach this to their daughters first by their “behavior” (Titus 2:3-5). If modesty isn’t important to you, it won’t be to your children.

3. Shop together.

With our busy lifestyles, it can be easy to just give your daughter some money and drop her off at the mall to do her own shopping with her friends. Don’t do this. You need to be with your daughter—at least most of the time—to make sure she makes the right choices when buying clothes. If she’s shopping only with her friends, she’ll be more tempted to buy clothes that aren’t acceptable.

Make time to go shopping with your daughter, and be willing to go to as many different stores as it takes to find decent clothes. If time is lacking, check out different retailers’ websites to preview what they’re selling, so you don’t waste time going to stores that sell clothing that doesn’t meet your standards.

Make sure your daughter knows what styles are and aren’t okay before you go shopping. If she knows the guidelines in advance, your shopping trips will go more smoothly.

Here are some areas you can consider setting standards for: neckline, tightness, length of shorts or skirt, and what kind of wording and images appear on her clothing. As a parent, you have the responsibility to set general and specific guidelines for your daughter’s clothing when she is young so she can learn to make good choices herself as she gets older.

4. Don’t be afraid to say “No.”

Be willing to take a firm stand with your daughter and say “No” when you need to. It may help to at least acknowledge her feelings: “Yes, I know it’s not easy to be different.” “I realize you had your heart set on that dress.” “I understand that all your friends have string bikinis, but I don’t think girls should be seen in public that way.” Your daughter will appreciate that you’re recognizing how she feels, even though she may be disappointed with your decision.

Remember, you have an obligation to teach your children how to discern what is and isn’t in line with God’s way of life. You have the responsibility to set limits for your children.

The truth is, no matter how frustrated your child seems with your standards, deep down she’ll appreciate the fact that you care enough to set rules. And ultimately—though it may not be in the immediate future—she’s going to respect your standards and (hopefully) teach them to her children one day.” 

From: http://lifehopeandtruth.com/life/blog/4-ways-to-instill-modesty-in-your-daughter/

Our flagship magazine, Discern, frequently includes articles with practical tips on working with your children. The July/August 2016 issue has many articles on family. You can read current and past issues and subscribe on our Discern page.

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Modesty Is for Boys Too

“Modesty is a subject that often focuses on girls and their clothing. But is there more to it that applies to boys? How can parents address this issue with their sons?

Modesty Is for Boys TooWhat comes to mind when you hear the word modesty? If you’re like most people, you probably think about a girl’s clothing choices: Is her top too low or too tight? How short is her skirt? Are her pants too tight? Is she showing too much skin? Is she dressing in a way that attracts the wrong kind of attention?

And it’s true—these are all aspects of modesty. If you have children, it’s important to talk about these issues with them. To get parents thinking more about this topic, this past summer we published a blog post titled “4 Ways to Instill Modesty in Your Daughter.”

Girls were the focus of that post, but modesty is not just for females. Modesty is an important virtue for boys too!

Just like girls, boys can also make inappropriate clothing choices. Go to a shopping center or park (on a warm day), and you’ll probably see guys wearing cut-off shirts, muscle tees, stringer tanks and low-slung pants with hiked-up boxer shorts. True, the objective for boys isn’t usually to “look sexy” (as is often the case when girls dress inappropriately), but the purpose of these styles is often still to draw attention—perhaps in an attempt to look cool or show off their biceps or sculpted abs.

Obviously, not all young men are interested in wearing these kind of clothes. That was the case with my sons. They’re adults now, but when they were growing up, one son preferred western wear and the other just wanted to wear football jerseys—neither of which could be considered “indecent” attire. Still, my husband and I often talked about modesty with them because there’s more to modesty than just what type of clothes you wear.

What is modesty?

Modesty can be defined as “conduct, manner, speech or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency.” It involves avoiding behavior that is sexually impure, pretentious, vain or boastful; and not drawing undue attention to the self. Clothing choice is only one of many ways we can be immodest.

We should strive to glorify God with our words, actions and appearance—meaning we should strive to live in a way that pleases and reflects Him.The Bible identifies the core issue of modesty: “Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). We should strive to glorify God with our words, actions and appearance—meaning we should strive to live in a way that pleases and reflects Him. Practicing modesty is one way to do this.

When my sons were growing up, five key aspects of modesty came up over and over again in our conversations on this issue. Here they are, and I hope you’ll find them to be good conversation-starters with your own children:

1. Modesty applies to words, attitudes and actions as much as clothing choices.

Kids need to know that even if they are wearing “modest clothing,” they can still be “immodest” by behaving in a shameful, arrogant, brash or indecent way. This obviously includes any kind of sexually promiscuous behavior, as well as things like crude speech and profanity, telling or listening to off-color jokes, bragging, gossiping, being physically aggressive and showing disrespect to teachers.

2. Both modesty and immodesty start in the mind. 

To be truly modest, the place to start is in your thoughts. Proverbs 23:7 tells us, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” If your child is striving to be pure in character, it’s much more likely he will dress, groom himself and behave appropriately. On the other hand, immodesty can get a foothold when pleasing the “self” becomes what’s most important—instead of obeying God. Humility is a major character trait found in the Bible, so help your kids develop it from a young age.

3. Godly character should be your focus, not a worldly definition of physical attraction.

Society bombards young men with the message that looking “hot,” “sexy” and “buff” is where it’s at. Boys need to be reminded that God is far more concerned with their character (1 Samuel 16:7) than their abs or biceps—which are temporary. Building godly character should be the priority, because that’s what lasts.

4. While who you are on the inside is the most important, how you dress and groom yourself still matters.

Just as what comes out of the mouth is from the heart (Matthew 15:18), our outward appearance reflects our inward character. If you allow your son to wear T-shirts with explicit or provocative messages, have an outrageous or flamboyant hairstyle, or dress very sloppily for school or church services, he’s going to send the wrong message to everyone who sees him. Instead, choose a look that promotes purity and godly values.

5. The way to determine if your attire is acceptable is to ask yourself whether it reflects God’s standards.

Clothing fads like skimpy swim trunks and hiked-up boxer shorts may not be specifically forbidden in the Bible, but right and wrong motives certainly are. Kids need to know that trying to allure the opposite sex or draw attention by wearing certain kinds of clothes is not proper. They should ask themselves: “What am I trying to accomplish with what I am wearing?” If the motivation is a matter of seeking the wrong kind of attention, it’s probably not an appropriate clothing choice.

Make it a point to discuss these issues with your kids. Even if you only have sons and no daughters, and even if they’re not drawn to outrageous clothing styles, modesty is still a vital topic to address. It’s up to you, as the parent, to help your kids understand what modesty really means and why it’s so important.”

From: https://lifehopeandtruth.com/life/blog/modesty-is-for-boys-too/

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Update.

It took three representatives from the internet/cable company, but finally the Internet, Phone and TV are all working.  One man had to run a new wire from the box outside by the pole to way down the street to another place to get it working, so it wasn’t all my old wiring’s fault.  This put me behind several days with all the outages and waiting for different workers to come from the Internet company.  I haven’t been able to list stuff for sale as much as I would usually.

We have been working mainly on getting a certain unusual ceiling fan/light repaired for the guest house (mini-house).  The broken circular florescent light bulb that was in it, is no longer available, so we had to use a different light kit for it.  It had to be something different and special, and fortunately I had one, but it took a while to get it attached to the fan and wired up right. We have only just finished that part, and hanging it will come next.  We only work three hours a day, so everything takes time.

Finally, I bought a mower, it looks like it came out of a dumpster, but it cuts grass and what more can I ask of it?  So at least the yard it more presentable.

Having been given some beef oxtails, I made an oxtail stew for the church pot luck.  The “Uber-Hearty Oxtail Soup Recipe for Slow Cooker” recipe called for onions, ginger, carrots, potatoes, apples, yams, kidney beans and lots of spices.  It turned out very well, but I hadn’t realized how greasy oxtails were, so I spent a long time getting all the fat off the meat when I deboned it. By the time I had done all that, there wasn’t much meat, but it was tender and tasty. Then I strained off the liquid and let it sit in the fridge overnight so that I could scoop all the fat off the top before putting it back in with the oxtails and veggies.  It was good, but I don’t think I will make it again soon.  I also took some more of the multigrain sweet rolls that I had in the freezer.  They always go over big. 

We had a more Bible readings this week:  Col. 1:15-20, Lev. 26:3-27:34, Jer. 16:19-17:14, John 14:5-21, and 15:10-15.  I don’t know why, but it was colder in the chapel that it has ever been, my head and sinuses stopped up, my eyes were running, and I just couldn’t stay there.  So I missed the Teaching. The pastor’s wife likes it that cold, but I sure don’t.  Her knee is much better now and I think that she can manage to take care of the kitchen without me.  Laura, one of the elder’s wives can help her.

So I am making plans to go to a different church, the Church of God on FM 830, next Saturday.  Their service is a bit later in the day, and a much larger congregation.  Jay and I used to go there every week, but he didn’t like afternoon church because he said it interfered with his day (drinking) and didn’t want to go, so that is why I found a morning church service.  I have visited from time to time, and it is like seeing old friends.  Every Sabbath they have Bible study before the service and once a month they have Bible Trivia which is like Password.  They also have a pot luck and fellowship after the service.

On Sunday, Hans invited me to go to Bible Study at his church just down the street.  When I got there I found out that they were studying out of Les Feldick’s books. Now I study with Les Feldick on TV every weekday morning at 6.30, so had already studied that part, but it was interesting all over again.  I stayed for the church service, and then Hans took me out to lunch at a new place in our little town.  It was like a waffle house but called Huddle House. Nearly all the dishes contained ham, bacon, or pork, so I had a Garden Omelet with hash browns.   Then Hans had me show him how to get the details about Israeli tours on his computer.  He hardly ever uses his computer and doesn’t really know how to use it.  It was a pleasant day.