Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Seniors # 2!

You know your over the hill when you start picking your teeth out of the popcorn.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
When you get old and your kids ask where all the money went, show them the vacation videos.
One good thing about Alzheimer's is you get to meet new people every day.

You know you're getting older when...

Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere.
Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.
Your children are beginning to look middle-aged.
Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep.
You look forward to a dull evening.
Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
Your back goes out more than you do.
You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.
A little boy took the chair at the barbershop.
"How would you like your hair cut today, son?" asked the barber.
"Oh, do it like you do Daddy's, with the big hole at the back."
Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

Top 10 party games for people over 50.
1. Sag, your it.
2. Pin the toupee on the bald guy.
3. 20 questions shouted in your good ear.
4. Kick the bucket.
5. Red rover, red rover, the nurse says bend over.
6. Doc, Doc, Goose.
7. Simon says something incoherent.
8. Musical recliners.
9. Spin the bottle of Mylanta®.
10. Hide and go pee.

I took Jay for his doctor's appointment in the next town, as his mother, Claudia, still isn't feeling that great since her liver transplant.  It is the anti-rejection medicine that she has to take, that makes her feel bad.

We spent some time at Petco and Petsmart trying to find the ideal canned food for Maddie, (short for Madelaine) their new little Yorkie.  So many of the cans don't have a picture on the outside showing what the food looks like, and Jay said that Maddie doesn't like the 'pate' kind.  Actually, I don't know if it is what Jay thinks or what Maddie thinks! So many of them had 'by-products', or corn fillers in them.   But we found some good ones that said they contained bits of real beef, chicken, etc. in gravy.  Apparently she is not as picky as MaeMae was, so we will see which she prefers.  Maddie does NOT beg at the table, like Jay got MaeMae doing by feeding her people food scraps at the table.  MaeMae didn't do that when she was here, and it was Jay feeding her table scraps that made her picky, too.   He had better not ruin Maddie's manners!  She is a cute little dog, but 3lb is not my ideal size of a protector!

After some lunch at Taco Bell, we stopped at Lowes, WalMart, and BigLots, too. 
The sun was shining, so the van was getting pretty warm inside and we had to run the AC today.


KarenInTheWoods and Steveio said...

My my my .. is someone feeling OLD today? all the snippets on age must mean a birthday is around the corner?

I will send them on to Steve, he turns 52 tomorrow. LOL

Karen and Steve
(Our Blog) RVing: Small House... BIG Backyard

LakeConroePenny,TX said...

No, Karen, not for a few months. Just had a collection of senior items that I wanted to share. Beware, there is another one coming soon.
Many Happy Returns to Steve. 52! Oh! Golly, I wish I could go back to 52! That was before I lost one house to a fire, rebuilt, and lost that one to a flood. Events like that really change the course of your life.
Happy Trails, Penny, TX