Sunday, June 17, 2018

6 Tips for Being a Good Dad. The Power of the Tongue, Rosanne. Update.

For “Scripture Sunday”:

6 Tips for Being a Good Dad

“Our world is made up of good and bad fathers. What makes a good father? How can you be better at it? Consider these six suggestions for being a better father to your children. 

6 Tips for Being a Good DadIn my last blog post, I asked the question “Where Have All the Fathers Gone?” That post showed the consequences of absent fathers and why fathers are important.

But if you are a dad (or are expecting to be one soon), how can you become a better father and have a positive impact on your children? I asked various fathers, mothers, sons and daughters, what does a good father do?

Here are some of the answers I got.

A good father:

  1. Spends time with his wife. The strongest relationship in the family must be the husband-wife relationship, not the parent-child relationship. This may seem contrary to some modern ideas that say the child is the most important person in the family. But according to family psychologist John Rosemond: “The most important person in an army is the general. The most important person in a corporation is the CEO. The most important person in a classroom is the teacher. And the most important [people] in a family are the parents.” Jesus taught, “What God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mark 10:9). Nothing, including children, should come between a husband and wife. Stronger marriages lead to stronger and more stable children. 
  2. Spends time with his children. It is vital for fathers to spend quality time with their children. It is not only important to tell them that you love them, but to demonstrate that love through time together. Some examples could be hiking, fishing, ball games and even menial tasks and activities. A good father tries to avoid (as much as possible) telling his children, “I am too busy.” Sometimes we need to just turn the TV or mobile device off in order to spend quality time with our kids.
  3. Hugs and kisses his children. Jesus, though not a physical dad Himself, set an example of embracing children (Mark 10:16). Fathers can learn from this example by regularly showing affection to their kids. Affection helps children know they are loved and worthy of love. Studies show that affection can help children have higher self-esteem, improve their academic performance, develop better parent-child communication and result in fewer psychological and behavior problems.
  4. Is consistent. Consistency helps a child feel safe and secure. When a dad abuses alcohol or often loses his temper, he treats his children inconsistently. In these circumstances, children will feel they are walking on eggshells and never know what to expect from their dad. Consistent, kind and loving behavior helps a child feel safe and grow up to be a more stable adult.
  5. Lovingly disciplines his children. Good dads set clear and fair household rules and explain the consequences if they are broken—and good dads are consistent with those consequences. Of course, while they are both firm and fair, good dads never abuse their authority. The Bible advises fathers not to be heavy-handed with their children, but to “bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4).
  6. Helps his children build good character. A common mistake is for parents to primarily seek “happy” children. Happiness is not the ultimate goal—character is. If we desire only happy children, we’ll avoid training and discipline in order to keep them happy. This can lead us to bend the rules and ignore bad behavior. Focusing on character building means we do what’s best for our children, even if it makes them unhappy for a while. Good fathers know that good character will ultimately bring their children true happiness in life.

What isn’t necessary for a good father?

What was interesting about the results of my survey was what was not said. Notice some of the things people didn’t say were required to be a good dad:

  • Financial success. In our society where wealth is viewed as the primary indicator of success, no one mentioned money as a requirement to be a good father. Of course, it’s important for a father to be able to feed and support his family (1 Timothy 5:8), but it is dangerous to put financial success before our family (Mark 4:19).
  • Best childhood ever.   Some want to give their children the childhood they never had. That can mean spoiling children with luxuries and everything they ask for. But this can lead to ungrateful kids who don’t learn to appreciate what they have. It’s important that fathers help teach their children the value of hard work and that life isn’t all about accumulating things we want (Luke 12:15).

Parenting is not easy. Each of us has our own challenges, and we will all make mistakes along the way. But a father’s greatest goal is to help his children become godly (Malachi 2:15).”  From:


The Power of the Tongue

“Do We Use It for Life or Death

Two people sitting together talking as the sun is setting in the background.  Harli Marten/Unsplash

“Everyone needs encouragement in this difficult world. Many people are going through so much. Let us all work to use our tongues to make a difference in raising people up instead of tearing people down.

Recently, it was in the headlines of the cancelation of the very popular TV show Rosanne.  It was a comedy show from many years ago that was brought back and became an instant hit.

The cast was on top of the world and headed for awards. It was the number one watched show for ABC. However, all of that came crashing down!

Sadly, the main star of the show tweeted some racist comments that got her fired and led to the cancelation of the show. Her actions left all of her cast and crew without a job.

This recent occurrence made me reflect on how serious how the use of our tongues can affect so many others around us, for good or for bad.

However, the power of our tongue used in a positive way can make a huge difference. Like the true story about Edward. Edward was a six-foot-tall teen whose life was changed by the use of the tongue in a positive way. 

Edward’s music teacher noticed that Edward always sat in the back of the room, all slumped down. She also noticed that Edward had no friends and always ate lunch by himself, often times under a tree. The music teacher would walk by and try to engage him in conversation.

The teacher felt compelled to reach out and encourage him. Her heart went out to this young man.

Edward struggled in her class. His grades were not good at all.

When the students came in to get their last grade from their last exam, the teacher kept looking for Edward in line but did not see him.

The night before, the teacher fretted all night long over the grade she had to give him. It was a D but she wanted so badly to give him a better grade.

While she was getting ready to lock up and go home, Edward finally walked in. He looked horrible. His eyes were all sunken in, he had the same clothes on that he had worn for weeks and his hair was all matted.

He looked at the teacher and said: “I know that I am getting a low grade on my final. I realize that I have not been participating in class and that I am an embarrassment to others. I am lazy, selfish, stupid and an ugly no-good-for-anything person. I have no place on this earth and what’s more, no one can ever love a person like me. I am a hopeless case with absolutely no future.” The teacher let him continue while holding back tears and trying to maintain professionalism.

When he was finished, what she said next turned this young man’s life around. She looked directly into his very sad eyes and said, “Edward, your final grade is an A.” His reaction was one of total and complete surprise. “You are giving me an A? Me? Why would you give me an A when I did such a poor job in class, on my assignments and on my final exam? Why would you do that?”

Her answer to Edward was: “You may appear to be a D student, but you are an A person. I believe in you now, and I will always believe in you. I am here for you now, and I will always be here for you. Never, ever forget that. Now, go and create the life you dream of. Believe in yourself. I will be watching. And by the way Edward, I love you.”

Early the next morning she was awoken at 3 a.m. It was a call from a priest. The priest told the teacher she had saved Edward’s life! The priest went on to tell her that Edward was planning to kill himself after he left her office to receive his grade. He already had it set up and had a written suicide note.

All his life, Edward only heard constant put-downs from his brother. The constant words of hate broke him and nearly drove him to commit suicide. The priest told the teacher her words gave Edwards hope that he was indeed worth something. Her words turned that young man’s life around that day.

Because of this awesome teacher, who spoke the right words, Edward went on to marry and have children and is now a dentist. You can read all of the story here about Edward.

There is so much power in that small member in our mouth, the tongue. “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit” (Proverbs 18:21, New International Version).

Our tongues can be the life and death of a marriage. It can be the life and death of friendships and, yes, life and death of careers. It can even push someone like Edward to become so discouraged they contemplate, or may even commit, suicide.

Our tongues can also do the opposite by lifting someone up. Our tongues can be an instrument for life, like the schoolteacher’s were to Edward. Her words gave Edward life! She gave him a reason to go on.

We live in a very negative, hate-filled world that offers words of death and lies bent on destroying people, attacking everyone in general who do not think or believe the same as we do.

How many times have we heard encouraging words of gratitude and appreciation?

“Jesus said, ‘Out of the abundance of the heart [the] mouth speaks’ ” (Luke 6:45). A critical heart produces a critical tongue. A self-righteous heart produces a judgmental tongue. A bitter heart produces an acerbic [hate-filled] tongue. An ungrateful heart produces a grumbling tongue. What does our heart say?” (“Fill Your Mouth With Life, Not Death,”  Desiring God).

The words we speak will depend on what is in our heart already. We must ask God for a pure heart.

God tells us in Ephesians 4:29: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

“The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence” (Proverbs 10:11). We should always look for the best in each other. In Ephesians 4:32 Paul wrote, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Everyone needs encouragement in this difficult world. Many people are going through so much. Let us all work to use our tongues to make a difference in raising people up instead of tearing people down.

Be a healer to others by your words! Ask God to inspire you to say the right thing at the right time. The world is in desperate need for love, so let us do what we can to spread the love that comes from our Father in Heaven.

Use the power of your tongue for healing!”  From:



This week Zack showed up each day, so we washed some windows that I have advertised, but the prospective buyer didn’t show up.  Then we started to move stuff out of my canvas 10 x 20’ garage/storage tent. After 4 years the roof had rotted and we need to install the new one. 

SAM_0764-2We set up big tables in the 3 carports in front of the mini-house and put the stuff out for dispay for a yard sale.  The sale was Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, but some ignorant person stole my pretty blue ‘Yard Sale’ signs, which really slowed down the traffic.  Also, it is not a good time of the year because people don’t to want to get out of their air-conditioned vehicles into the heat.  Anything big that I wanted gone, I sold for pennies on the dollar, just to get it out of here.  But I had to sort the sfuff out anyway, so this was a good way to do it.

The forecast is for rain for the next few days, so when we closed it down on Friday, everything was stored on the tables covered in plastic in the enlosed carports where we had installed plastic last week.  Now maybe when weather allows, we can put the new roof on the canvas garage/storage tent.   By the time it was all over it was just a muggy, humid day and we were glad that we were done with the yard sale stuff for now.

As I hadn’t even had time to go shopping, I didn’t have any fresh veggies to make for the church potluck.  With the yard sale going on I had to keep my eyes on the front yard. So I defrosted some Ground Turkey Hungarian Goulash that I had made a couple of months ago, and I made a pot of organic lentils in a crockpot.  Another lady, Lauri, who lives down the road needed a ride to church and a stop at the Post Office, so I picked her up and we went together.

The Bible readings carried on where we left off last week at Num. 4:21-7:89, Jud. 13:2-13:25 and Acts 21:17-26. And the Teaching was about the Arrogance of Militant Homosexuals.  I don’t know what got into the Preacher about that, but something must have happened. Maybe Lev.18:22. ‘You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination.” KJ.

The lentils were well received, some had never had any before.  It is such a shame that people don’t remember the healthy foods these days.

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