One More Day With Dad.
Submitted by Darris McNeely
The author's father and mother.
"It has been nearly twenty years since my father died.
I have often wondered if I had “one more day with dad” what would I want to say? What would I want to know? What could I cram into twenty four hours with him?
I think I would ask him questions I never thought to ask when he was alive. I would want to know what he thought about religion, war, work, his friends, his parents.I would ask who was his favorite sibling and why.
I would have a deep conversation with him about something that really mattered. Life has matured me to the point I could do that now.
I would say “thank you” for never embarrassing the family; for the good name he left us. I would thank him for never lacking anything essential.
I would tell him about the world to come, in words he would understand. He was a veteran of World War II. My mother said when he came back from the war he was not the same man that left three years earlier. I think he would want to hear about a world without war and its aftermath.
I would tell my father what I have learned as a father and now a grandfather. That family is everything, and that grandchildren change your whole outlook.
What would you want to say to your father? If he is still alive maybe you can go to him soon and say it while he is alive. Ask him about the things you do not know. Do it now.
Fathers are really really important in a family and to a growing child. Don’t believe all the nonsense telling you a father is not essential in a child’s life. The presence of a father in a child’s life is the single biggest predictor of success in adulthood.
Someone once said, “What matters for success is less whether your father was rich or poor than whether you knew your father or not”.
For all you dads who made the decision to stay around, thanks. You made the right choice and a difference in someone’s life.
And if your dad is still around make sure you tell him you care. Do it now, while you can."
Marriage and Family: The Missing Dimension.
"The joy of a happy marriage blessed with loving, respectful children is a dream of most men and women. Traditionally, marriage has been an exclusive bond between a man and a woman. Yet in recent years this pattern has been changing...
Contents:Introduction - Marriage and Family: The Missing Dimension
"Didn't the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union" (Malachi:2:15And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth., New Living Translation).
Marriage and Family: The Spiritual Significance
To understand the spiritual significance of marriage and family, we must turn to God, our Creator, to learn what He had in mind in making the human race.
God's Instruction Manual for Marriage
Marriage is one of God's most wonderful gifts to mankind. It is a treasure worth working on, cherishing and sustaining. His instructions are as valid today as ever.
Dating Do's and Don'ts
Everyone knows that in most cultures dating is a prelude to marriage. But what many don't know is that how we date greatly influences the kind of marriage we will have. The way we conduct ourselves while dating is an excellent indicator of the commitment we will have to a future relationship and an indicator of the level of happiness we will enjoy.
Choose Your Love Story
God's beautiful picture of sexuality is for us to refrain from having sex until we are married and then to only enjoy sex with the person to whom we are married (1 Corinthians:6:18Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.; Exodus:20:14Thou shalt not commit adultery.).
Handling Those Touchy Situations
To help you establish godly standards, consider the following advice given by a panel of young Christians between the ages of 20 and 30.
What to Say When Things Are Going Too Far
Here's some examples of things to say when your relationship is going to far.
Popular Sexual Myths
Given all the confusion that exists today regarding sex, it's important for us to understand some of the most common but mistaken ideas about this subject.
At What Age Should We Marry?
The Bible does not indicate that there is a specific age at which it suddenly becomes appropriate for us to marry.
Is Homosexuality Acceptable to God?
The acceptance of homosexuality as an equally valid lifestyle is rapidly growing in Western culture. Yet God tells us that sex was designed for only one relationship—within marriage, exclusively between a man and a woman.
Men's and Women's Vulnerabilities
When it comes to temptations to have sex, men and women, in general, face different challenges.
What If You've Made a Mistake?
When it comes to sex, people make mistakes—both premarital and extramarital. The biblical way to cleanse one's conscience is to repent—that is, stop breaking God's law.
Is Abortion the Answer to Unwanted Pregnancy?
Many people today consider abortion to be a woman's right to control her body—specifically her reproductive rights. What does the Bible say?
Divorce-Proof Your Marriage
Because so many marriages—particularly in modern Western countries—end in failure, couples trying to live godly lives and make their relationships last will look for ways to protect and preserve their marriages.
The Different Kinds of Love Mentioned in the Bible
The Greek language in which the New Testament was written uses several words translated "love." The first two listed below are found in the New Testament. Understanding their meanings helps us better comprehend God's expectations of us.
Was Sex Intended Solely for Procreation?
Does the Bible prohibit sexual relations within marriage purely for pleasure?
Our Children: Gifts of God in a Hostile Environment
The Bible tells us that children are a blessing from God, and most couples readily welcome them into their families. Human reproduction is one of life's most treasured and memorable experiences. Consider how God intended for this beautiful event to transpire.
The Epidemic of Missing Fathers
Dr. Wade Horn, assistant secretary for children and families in the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, addressed the connections between fatherlessness and criminal behavior in a 2002 speech.
Bringing Up a Moral Child
Many parents, including single parents, are raising well-adjusted, moral children who successfully enter adulthood. Why are these families successful when so many others are not?
Measuring Influence on Our Children
While parents have the opportunity to be the greatest influence on their children's lives, this doesn't always happen.
Proverbs and Proper Training
Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Discipline With Encouragement
Discipline with encouragement may seem like an oxymoron. How could discipline possibly be encouraging? Isn't it always painful and depressing?
How can sibling rivalry be minimized?
Is it possible to successfully raise godly children even as a single parent?
The Value of Consequences
Should chilldren be held responsible for bad choices or decisions?
Creating Quality Time
It's important to set aside quality time to spend with your children.
The Seasons of Parenting
There are three seasons in raising children, and one final season that is our goal. Each season is a phase where a child needs a certain type of parenting.
Personality Differences and Temperament
Because each child is a unique human being in terms of the way he or she thinks and acts, parents often wonder whether these differences should affect their parenting.
Family Resources for You and Your Children
Resources to encourage you as a parent.
A Foretaste of Tomorrow
The desire for a happy, lasting marriage blessed with children who grow up to be successful, morally responsible adults is truly the universal dream."
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I didn't know my father, I hardly ever lived with him, and when I did for two years, he was always working.
My mother took off when I was 4 years old, and a very rare thing in those days, I was put in my father's custody. But there was a war on, so my father was away in the Air Force, and I had to live with different people who weren't always that good to me. When he got 'demobbed', he remarried for the third time, took a position in Paris, France, and after a while he sent for me.
My new stepmother used to whip me with her riding crop, and as my father and I were not close, I didn't dare tell him, anyway I would got more from my stepmother. When I was 15, she manoeuvred me back to England to fend for myself. So I went to work, put myself through different schools, paid my rent, bought my food and clothes,and never had a 'teenage'.
I know that has made a big difference in my life, and not for the best. I had no idea about what being a family is all about, and it showed when I had to raise my own children. I had no 'Mother' or 'Father' love or support to copy, or guide me through life. I really had a "Missing Dimension."
Ray painted the door trim for the cargo trailer's front door. Jay leaves in the morning and won't be back to work until Wednesday, but it will be ready. So Ray and I are taking some time off, too.
Jay and I loaded up the van with all the paper to be recycled, and the three carriers with the orphan kittens, Paco and Prime. It was a hot day, and we are so grateful that the AC works well in the van. It has AC in the rear too, so the dog, cat and kittens were comfortable on their way to Adoption Day. Trying to be a good Girl Guide (Brit for Girl Scout), I took water with us to hydrate the animals should we have a flat, and get stuck on the side of the road. Never has happened, but you never know! I used to take them in my motor home with the generator and roof AC running in the summer, but it needs 6 new tires right now.
Our first stop was Petco, as we wanted to get them into the cool of the store. After they were settled in their display cages, we went on our route of places to go. Another foster mom was going to bring them home for me, as we were picking up plywood, and couldn't have the three carriers in the van, too, so we didn't have to hang around in town until Adoption Day was over.
Second stop was to drop off the paper to be recycled at St. Marks Thrift Shop. Jay bought a shirt, and I bought another coffee maker, and two work tank-tops.
If I could find a new 4-cup coffee-maker like my really old one with a rusted out bottom, which is now so slow it couldn't catch a cold, I would buy it. Then I could stop messing with these inconvenient 12 cup ones that you have to lift up the whole lid to put in the water, which means that I have to pull the coffee maker all the way out from under the top cabinet to fill it, perilously near the edge of the countertop.
We cut through a subdivision to the Tobacco Barn, had to wait in a line at their drive-through, and then over the freeway to Lowes. Parking lot was full there. Where do all these people come from on a Saturday afternoon? Of course the lumber is at one end, and garden center at the other, so we got a lot of exercise there. We found a sheet of smooth plywood suitable for the table top in the cargo trailer, and had them cut off the 3' for the table, so we could get it all in the van. Even then the other 5' has to ride slanted, up on the folded down bench seat. The rest of it will be used for the bed.
Then we had to go to dreaded Super Wal-Mart, as Jay's mother's prescriptions were ready. I had some stuff to return anyway, and buy a new optical mouse. I didn't think they could go wrong, but mine isn't acting right.. That parking lot was also full, and the only tree shaded parking spot in the front had
Jay was getting stuff together for their upcoming road trip to Coushatta Casino. We each brought some Reese's Peanut Butter cups and Gouda cheese on sale, so we had to use the 12v. fridge in the van, while we stopped at the big Kroger's on the way home. At least they have a couple of rows of trees, where one might find a shady spot, but they are further away from the store. More walking all over that store, and we were beat. All that took 5 hours in the record afternoon heat. That is why we prefer to go in the mornings.
Misty was looking for Paco and Prime everywhere, as the foster critters weren't brought home until 6.30. They were all hungry as they usually eat about 5.00PM, and they hadn't eaten since morning. No one put in an application for any of the animals there.
It was a slow Adoption Day, probably due to Father's Day.